Irvine Welsh: Chefs' Secrets of the Bedroom

Two feuding health inspectors, Danny Skinner and Brian Kibbie, work in Edinburgh's restaurant inspection department. Skinner, a drunk and football fan, hates and terrorizes Kibbie, and in his spare time reads Rimbaud, Verlaine, and Schopenhauer, and watches Fellini films. Kibbie, quiet and shy, collects model trains, is a Star Trek fan, is afraid of everything, and is eventually hospitalized with liver disease—despite never having had a drop of alcohol. Skinner, meanwhile, decides to recover from his alcoholism, travels to America, and there, at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, finds the girl of his dreams. But the girl isn't enough for him; he wants to find the man who conceived him with his mother at a Clash concert in 1980. And this bedroom secret turns out to be key here—the hero can't become himself until he finds out who his father is...